From Chaucer to the music halls to Monty Python, there’s an old and disreputable sport: saying something that sounds perfectly innocent while meaning something rather less so — and slipping it clean past the censor. “The plumber said he could squeeze me in round the back” means one thing to a child, and quite another to everyone else.
Put your own line to the bench, where three judges weigh it: Pollyanna, who sees only the good; the Barmaid, who has heard it all; and the Barrister, scandalised by the faintest hint. The trick is to fool the innocent while the knowing catch you red-handed — the wider that gulf, the higher your Deception, and the finest lines earn a place in the Record.
Ranked by deception — filthiest to the Barmaid, cleanest to Pollyanna. A shared, all-time record.